Thoughts provoked by an old house in need of renovation, its garden, a marriage lived within its walls, and of a retired Thoroughbred race horse named Fibs and Flannel.
I couldn't imagine what had happened to an article of clothing in the dryer when I opened it this morning, bringing in the load from last night with my work-out clothes in it.
What on earth had unraveled like that? There was white thread everywhere. Everywhere. I reached in an touched it, disbelieving.
What could come unraveled that way, besides me confronted with the prospect of a McPalin White House on November 5?
Have you ever noticed how long the moments of disbelief seem to last before the obvious answer rushes through the door of your consciousness, telling you not to worry, everything's alright?
Thread.
Warm-up jacket.
Spool of thread in the pocket I found at the gym last week.
The day I got out the thread to fix the skirt of the slipcover of the armchair I had just ripped with the small nozzle on the vacuum cleaner, but couldn't find any needles and finished by stuffing the spool of thread in the pocket of my warm-up jacket.
Realization dawned, clear and bright.
I had left it in the pocket when I washed the jacket, and now, there it was, wrapped around sleeves and buttons and the drawstring of my running pants like thread wrapped around the intestines of a dog who ate it.
You haven't heard that story? Well, it's true, and it was much worse than what happened to my laundry.
It took a pair of scissors and a lot of patience to extricate my warm-up jacket and everything else that needed to return to the dryer to finish drying. Extremely compressed laundry does not dry, turning in the tumbler as one massive, wet lump of fabric.
....
The dryer
But that's almost nothing compared to what I have to do just to run the dryer, which is out in the garage, plugged into an outdoor extension cord, which is plugged into another outdoor extension cord, which runs through a hole in the wood at the bottom of the door, through the entry and living room, to the multi-plug thing, which is plugged into the wall behind the table next to the beat-up sofa.
All this because a) there is only 1 plug out of 4 between the door and that far side of the living room that works, and something like 5 in the whole house (ok, I am exaggerating. There are 9 or 10 that work), and b) the concrete mixer for the chaux blew a fuse in the garage, and we bought 20 Amp fuses this morning, but not 32 Amp ones, of which minun aviomies said, "Look, here's a package with a mix, 10, 16, 20 and 32 Amp ones -- but whoever needs the 32 Amp ones."
Of course it was the 32 Amp ones we needed.
....
The furnace
Oh, and did I mention that when we tried to turn the furnace on to the winter cycle for heat as well as hot water, it knocked out the hot water and failed to offer heat to the radiators?
Tuesday we have a delivery of 1,000 liters of wondrously inexpensive oil arriving for a non-functioning heap of whimpering cold steel and wires.
I sit and type in my old alpaca winter overcoat that I wear like a blanket with buttons. When will there be a fall when we will not be shivering here?
Time to go take a freezing shower to go to a friends' house for dinner. The champagne is chilling.
"We're on our way." Thank goodness. H eknew me without my saying a word. "J'ai eu un petit soucis [there are never big worries in France, only des petits, like problems and coffee] avec le camion. Le temps que j'allais chercher le -- la pièce, c'est compliqué, ce n'est pas la peine que je te dis [he uses the informal "tu" with me and only my first name, while I use the formal "vous"; I think he needs to feel we are bonded, but I am not quite ready to go that far] laquelle [and he talks to himself as much as he talks to me], une pièce, en fin, -- j'arrive tout de suite -- avec Georges --, et je te ferai l'échantillon de chaux en chocolat noir."
All that meant that something had happened to the truck, they needed a part [and since I have heard about the truck twice before, was probably an excuse, anyway], and the time it took to get the part -- well, it was complicated and not worth getting into which, just a piece, -- he'd be right there -- with Georges --, to make the dark cholocate sample.
My head spins. I have learned to listen to the key words:
be right there with Georges (no José -- best indication that their other "bricole" wasn't finished)
to make the dark chocolate chaux sample.
Friday, they weren't here as I expected them to be. Joaquim said José and Georges would be here in the afternoon (they had a "petit bricole à faire", or a little project to do), and he would be there in the morning to do the dark chocolate sample for the half-timber motif.
Hé, bah non. [trans: But, no. (That's what French sounds like when real French people speak it;. Try it in school, Justin.)].
So, no sign of contractor-life all day Friday. Monday morning dawns with a bright, shining sun, warm: a perfect day to work. And no contractors.
Before leaving for work, my husband had come back up to say good-bye. I was semi-conscious -- another night hitting "publish" on the blog after 2 AM, with the dishes piled in the sink, waiting. I had sent Audouin up to bed with them undone, rather than be pressured. He's getting to know the drill. He bent down over me to try to catch my attention.
"Tu leur dirais de finir les fenêtres quand-même? Il va faire froid, et on n'aura pas de fenêtres avec des carreaux pas cassés." I know. It's cold. The missing panes make "un appel d'air", or draw the air in and make a current of cold air. I had to take plastic wrap from the kitchen the other evening and tape it over the worst of the ones they have broken sanding the painted wood.
"Unh-hunh." He understands that in English.
I understood enough in my stupor that if they no-showed, it would be a tough evening. The morning passed. I chatted with C.H.A.O.S. -- excellent use of time -- rather than get something for the lunch my sister-in-law was coming to enjoy and vacuum. By 12:30, she was here, and still no contractors.
"Vas y, appelles les. Je t'attends." [Did you get that? trans: "Go ahead, call them. I'll wait."]
Joaquim told me about the truck, said he was on his way.
"Je vais déjeuner rapidement avec ma belle-soeur --"
"Ne te presses pas. J'arrive, je ferais l'échantillon, et je t'attendrai." Bon. I grabbed the keys to the Fiat to get my purse, and make room for Anne-so to park her mini-van between it and the neighbor's mini-van (no, no, we don't live in the States, they are diesels), hopped in, put it in reverse to back up to give Anne-so more space, and bang! The car stopped moving. I hadn't even had time to accelerate. I looked around. There, right next to me was the driver's side door, wide open. In my haste to get out of the way so another car could pass my sister-in-law's royal blue elephant, while not running into the mommies and kids waiting for the bus to take their children back to school after lunch, I had shifted into gear without shutting the door and backed it into the corner of their house at the door to the courtyard.
All eyes were on me. Sympathetically, of course. The door would not shut. I left it open. Steal my 1994 Fiat Uno diesel; go right ahead.
Luckily we were taking my motorcycle anyway.
When I got back, there was still the ochre to mix and apply next to the chocolate they were mixing. It looked exactly like dark chocolate brownie batter. I nearly asked to lick the trowel.
Baccarat wandered over to nuzzle Joaquim's leg. She was really sniffing for the scent of Bandit on his jeans. His hand with the container of ochre pigment swung back just in time to meet her muzzle, and Baccarat ended up a yellow lab.
"War-paint," Joaquim laughed.
It's hard to photograph a perpetually moving 2-year-old Black Lab without an incredibly good digital camera, or high-speed film. ....
Barack Obama Kansas City, Missouri October 18, 2008
These photographs are from Icebergslim's post at the Daily Kos today. I organized them into a slide show for your enjoyment, and my memories.
As Jericho put it, there are 4 million eligible voters in the state of Missouri. 1 in 40 of them were at the rally, "If each one of them has a conversation with 20 of their friends, neighbors and coworkers, that is 2M citizens who will have a personal story of just why Barack Obama is the candidate who cares about their issues."
With today's rally in Kansas City added to the number present in St. Louis, 1.75 in 40 have now attended an Obama rally in Missouri. They only need to speak to about 13 friends (check my math, Jericho) now.
As goes the bellwether state goes the nation.
....
The long-anticipated, much hoped-for Powell endorsement
“Mr. McCain says that he’s a washed-out terrorist,” Mr. Powell said. “Well, then, why do we keep talking about him?”
"This has never been about me, it's about you," Barack Obama told us at Invesco Field in August and has said again and again since, and he was right. What he did was find the words to call us together, and then give us the means to find one another in our support for the message he brought.
America has her ear to the ground, and she can hear a nation of people rising and walking together to her true Manifest Destiny, the realization of her promise and purpose.
In Boston in 2004, he told us:
Tonight, we gather to affirm the greatness of our Nation -- not because of the height of our skyscrapers, or the power of our military, or the size of our economy. Our pride is based on a very simple premise, summed up in a declaration made over two hundred years ago:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable right, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
And it is this year, in this election that we are finally called upon to reaffirm our values and our commitments, having had that opportunity stolen in 2004, to hold them against that hard reality of which Obama spoke, harder still than the one we faced in 2004, and "see how we're measuring up to the legacy of our forbearers and the promise of future generation."
And he echoed the words of President Lyndon B. Johnson, spoken at the moment of his signing of the Voting Rights Act, March 15, 1965, as he went on to say that there is not a Black America and White America:
It is that fundamental belief -- It is that fundamental belief: I am my brother' skeeper. I am my sister's keeper that makes this country work. It's what allows us to pursue our individual dreams and yet still come together as one American family. E pluribus unum: "Out of many, one."
No even as I speakm there are those who are preparing to divide us -- the spin masters, the negative ad peddlers who embrace the politics of "anything goes." Well, I say to them tonight, there is not a liberal America and a conservative America -- there is the United States of America. There is not a Black America and a White America and Latino America and Asian America -- there's the United States of America.
...
Hope -- Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope!
In the end, that is God's greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation. A belief in things not seen. A belief that there are better days ahead.
I believe that we can give our middle class relief and provide working families with a road to opportunity.
I believe that we can provide jobs to the jobless, homes to the homeless, and reclaim young people in cities across America from violence and despair.
I believe that we have a righteous wind at our backs and that as we stand on the crossroads of history, we can make the right choices, and meet the challenges that face us.
America! Tonight, if you fell the same energy that I do, if you feel the same urgency that I do, if you feel the same passion that I do, if you feel the same hopefulness that I do -- if we do what we must do, then I have no doubt that all across the country, from Florida to Oregon, from Washington to Maine, the people will rise up in November, and John Kerry wil be sworn in as President, and John Edwards will be sworn in as Vice President, and this country will reclaim its promise, and out of this long political darkness a brighter day will come.
Barack, we were waiting for you.
Oh, we would have taken John Kerry and John Edwards, but it took you. These were your words, not theirs. This was your passion, not theirs. It was you who dared to speak of our hope and the renewal and reclamation of our country by our people, for ourselves.
We heard you. We hear you, and we will see to it that you are sworn in as President of the United States and that Joe Biden is sworn in as Vice President of the United States, and all together, we will work with you to bring our middle class relief, our working families that road to opportunity, and we will bring jobs to the jobless and homes to the homesless, and we will reclaim those young people from despair. They are only waiting.
And we will do this not because we are liberals, and we will do this not because we are socialists, we will do this because we understand that it is the work of the government of a great nation to see to the needs of all of her people, if she is moral and responsible.
hen in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
It's going on 2 in the morning. I am tired. I felt saddened and disgusted this evening by two things that were brought to my attention, among others, after someone else said, "Hey, look at this," and sent a link to the Washington Wire blog of The Wall Street Journal -- http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2008/10/18/obama-rally-draws-100000-in-missouri/.
Go ahead. Click on it. You'll see this picture:
One hundred thousand people in St. Louis, MO. One hundred thousand. A friend of mine in Chicago said that all her Democratic friends have left Missouri, all that's there are the Republicans. It looks like something's happening in the bellwether state.
But look farther down that page. Look what is happening in a neighborhood of Cincinnati, Ohio.
"What," they'll say, "that it's not hate speech. It's just a Halloween ghost, get over it." He'll turn and grin at his pal, then look back at you and add "And so what if I did? He deserves it. Barack HUSSEIN Obama's an uppity n___ Mus-lin Arab."
"Can you imagine living in that neighborhood?" someone typed.
"I'd have to move," I typed back.
It's an effigy. It's a crime, and it is disgusting.
....
Charles Manson was a community organizer
And then, there was this, someone else posted it saying, "Here's something else for you to get disgusted about, Fleur."
Someone hit the link before I did in CHAOS, and the words "They're comparing him to Charles Manson?" came up.
What? I hit the link. There he is, Todd Palin's about to speak, being applauded by Norm Coleman in Duluth, Minnesota, and a guy up front -- right in front of the podium -- holds up a sign, "Charles Manson was a community organizer."
Charles Manson. A serial killer.
....
Disgraceful
I went and I found Keith Olbermann's special comment, posted on the Daily Kos Tuesday:
"It's not negativity, it's truthfulness," said the Demagogue from Alaska as she drew visions of terrorists and foreigners and hobgoblins across the blank minds of her supporters...
"I've heard the same things said about me at Senator Obama's speeches," said Senator Holier-Than-Thou - ever the real victim, never at fault.
And so, as Senator Obama's lead spirals upwards (14 points over McCain in tonight's CBS News/New York Times poll) we spiral downwards towards the point where anybody can say anything at a McCain or Palin rally - someone else shouted "kill him" today - knowing neither candidate will ever draw a line... will never say enough!...
Tonight's Special Comment actually grows out of the "McCain In The Membrane" segment, but obviously the topic has become far too serious to be treated in the satirical manner reserved for that feature.
That another voice of hate should have emanated from a Palin or McCain event, with not a hint of reproach from either candidate, is appalling enough.
That Senator McCain should have gone on another martyrdom kick - insisting he is the true victim here - is beneath the minimum dignity a political figure must retain to maintain viability as a public leader.
Congressman Lewis, Senator McCain says, "accused me and Sarah Palin of being involved in segregation, George Wallace and even made reference to a church bombing where children were killed. Senator Obama has not repudiated that statement. Senator Obama should do so immediately. Its the most outrageous thing that I have heard since in politics. It is disgraceful."
"Disgraceful? Obviously, Senator, you haven't heard your own speeches, and Governor Palin's, and what people shout during them. And you haven't heard your state GOP Chair in Virginia, Jeffrey Frederick, giving talking points to 30 of your field-operatives heading out to canvass voters in Gainesville, Virginia... With a reporter present, telling them to try to forge a connection between Barack Obama and Osama Bin Laden - to emphasize bombings and terrorism. And you haven't heard those volunteers, your volunteers Senator McCain, shout back "and he won't salute the flag" and "we don't even know where Senator Obama was really born." Senator McCain -- these people are speaking for you!"
....
One hundred million stronger
And then, I was about to turn off the computer and head to bed, when I saw a new email had come in from mybarackobama.com.
The subject line told me I had contribution to my fundraising page. I clicked on the email, and I saw that shrinkme from CHAOS had not only matched her challenge to my fundraising page, she had gone way past it. She had already made a first tremendous donation through my page, a person known to her only from watching Signkid's Obama sign in Portland, Oregon with CHAOS, and chatting with whoever stops by the room to help and talk awhile (we sometimes rotfl so hard we have to wipe our tears away), for which I was still feeling so grateful, and then she told me that her challenge was still open: when two more people who had never donated to my page did so, and she'd match them.
Michiganmom stepped up to the plate, and then stepped her husband up, too, and shrinkme came through, just like several others had in the past few days, for a total of $300 to the Obama campaign.
According to the Washington Wire of the WSJ, the St. Louis event was Obama's largest crowd ever for a US event. It'll make the folks at the Palin rallies hopping mad, but we're standing shoulder to shoulder and we're ready for you.
Today, I talked with the mother of a young man returned from Iraq. He joined the military seeking positive male role models, and he saw war in Iraq. He left the military rather than return for a second tour of duty, and he still sees the military as positive, but the war in Iraq in the worst of terms.
Here is our conversation. I intend it as a tribute to him, and to her, and to everyone who has made this sacrifice. It makes me ask myself questions about telling my son I could never let him go to a war in which I do not believe, maybe to lose my only child.
This woman did. He is her only child, and she told us that she told him never to let her get in the way of his doing his work.
Mtrn: My son was in Iraq fleur_de_paris: really? fleur_de_paris: how many tours? Mtrn: just one, TG for 12 mos ... Mtrn: he exited the military so he wouldn't have to go back fleur_de_paris: what does he think about all of this, Mtrn? Mtrn: he doesn't talk much about much anymore fleur_de_paris: hm fleur_de_paris: how old is he? Mtrn: he thinks the war is all BS about $$$ irish1313: well, it is Mtrn: 24 fleur_de_paris: he is right, but I haven't been to Iraq, so I have more respect for his opinion than my own fleur_de_paris: so young Mtrn: he's registered to vote, but won't... can't understand it fleur_de_paris: I am sure it has affected him noweelani: like the blackwater thugs, or how about giving our troops contaminated water? fleur_de_paris: he's reacting, Mtrn, isn't he? He'll need a little time Mtrn: ya, he's a man's man -- but was always a compassionate man -- it messed with him fleur_de_paris: maybe he will, at the last minute fleur_de_paris: maybe he doesn't want to talk about it, but will do it Mtrn: maybe Mtrn: maybe fleur_de_paris: that must be hard for you, to see him changed fleur_de_paris: I have a son fleur_de_paris: he is 17 irish1313: how long has he been back? Mtrn: I just have my safety net out for him, if he needs it fleur_de_paris: it's hard just watching him wrestle with growing up fleur_de_paris: you are a good parent Mtrn: yuppers fleur_de_paris: why did he join the military? Has this changed his outlook? Mtrn: he felt he needed some positive male role models in his life -- dad is deadbeat fleur_de_paris: I see. This might not have helped Mtrn: well, it did irish1313: there might have been a few Mtrn: he sees benefit from military, not just war fleur_de_paris: he is on a path Mtrn: yuppers fleur_de_paris: but he ended having to quit because of Iraq fleur_de_paris: something hit him Mtrn: well, that and he wanted to finish college Mtrn: so he works full-time and attends college full-time melbaOz: sounds as if your son has learned a lot, Mtrn Mtrn: yes, but you know how youth can fool us irish1313: stupid escapade radar going off, Mtrn? melbaOz: 24 isn't that young Mtrn: lol Mtrn: it is, and it isn't irish1313: it's not that old, either, that's the trouble Nephilimisl: 24 can be, it depends on what you do, it's not really old either Mtrn: he is older in ways I will never understand because of the war melbaOz: I think I was more mature in my mid-thirties than I am now Mtrn: but in his daily struggles, he is still young ... Mtrn: you mean what's he getting his degree in? Mtrn: CIS, like mother like son :-) Nephilimisl: sweet. Tell him I said good luck Mtrn: ty :)
The conversation went on. We talked about our sons, their fathers, and how they have experienced their absence. For hers, it has been a long, slow and painful process. My son has been fortunate, by some freak of his own personality, perhaps.
Our conversation made me think about how I have told my son that if the draft returns, I will take him to the embassy to have him renounce his citizenship. He is French, too, and the French do not see war as we do. They do not send their sons and daughters easily to risk their lives. I do not believe the same thing of our government anymore.
I once met a woman who watched her only child, her son, make the decision to volunteer to go to Iraq. She was a university administrator for the University of California system. That was in 2004. She told me at a 4th of July celebration in the Bay Area how she had pleaded with him not to do it, but he said that he felt it was his duty. She did not believe in this war, just like Mtrn's son lost his faith.
Over the four years, I thought often of that woman from the rooftop 4th of July party, watching fireworks burst in the Pacific evening sky, drink in hand, and I wondered if her son came home safely.
The Obama boards, like C.H.A.O.S., bring people together from all over the US and the world, and I have met many people who have sons and daughters in Iraq, or returned from Iraq, or who have served in other US conflicts, like Vietnam. I have not yet met someone who lost their child. They would probably not be there. Someone told us, after the exchange above, that his neighbors lost a son. The soldier's mother still talks about him coming home from the war, and they fly the flag every day just like they have done from the day he left.
"It's a way to keep him alive in her heart," said Mtrn.
And when all the troops will have come home, when her son does not come to the front door, then what?
I tried to find that woman from LA. I got as close as a good friend, who said she would forward my message. She was cheerful and friendly. I never heard from her friend, but I can believe that her son is safe.
And, what war would I find worthy of my son? What war would he find worthy of himself?
I have taken him to Arlington to walk among the paths and to see the change of the guard, and to Coleville sur Mer to walk among the crosses and the stars of David on the bluff over Omaha Beach. We read the names, and the ones where there was none. We watched the flags come down and be folded into their triangular bundles that evening, as every evening for all these decades for all of those lives, and others still, buried elsewhere, or lost to the Channel water.
And, who will decide if he should go to war, and how does a mother find the courage to let him go? ....
I am a little embarrassed about this post (Dolores Palin, Sarah Umbridge) because somehow I had no idea others (including, it seems, although I can't find any video online to prove it, besides his mentioning the name of Dolores Umbridge yesterday, Keith Olbermann) had also thought of the Umbridge/Palin parallel way back in the first week of September. Just Google "sarah palin dolores umbridge" and start reading. It's okay, though, because I am merely chronicling now for myself. You are welcome to read along.
As (you pick the adjective) as Sarah Palin is, it shocked me more that a political party thought she is a politically viable choice to advance their ticket to govern The United States of America.
It said to me how very, very far things have gone, and how very, very closely reality can resemble the invented world of stories because -- well-written or not, sophisticated or simple, for children or adults, literature or pulp for the grand public -- they tell the story of the human heart, and it's not always a Hallmark Valentine.
I thought if Palin sounds so very much like Dolores Umbridge, then who is John McCain. Voldemort was the easy answer, but it didn't fit because he is not the source, he is not the one they serve. He is a servant in the system of emptiness and evil. He is not a mastermind. He is the interesting character, in a way. His was a special brand of snake oil. Someone recently said that maybe his truest desire is to destroy, the Republican party by failing, to smash it to bits. If that is true, why? Did he or did he not serve it? Did he or did he not act as they did? Almost everything you can think of to say about his claims can be turned upside down and inside out when you do a little digging, from earmarks, to lobbyists to service. How much of John McCain was a projection of what John McCain wished and not what John McCain would, much less did. No, he's not Voldemort.
I reserved that for Rove. Rove has been acting in the Republican political establishment since his college days. I don't know Rove as a child. I don't know the inside of his heart and mind, but I do know that he was born politically in the midst of Watergate, from the inside the Nixon machine. I cam across the footage from the CBS Evening News that is in the middle of the page. Be patient. You will see him, not yet bloated. He is a subject for the biographers.
While Keith Olbermann is comparing Palin to Addie Polk, the 90-year-old who shot herself in the chest when they tried to evict her from her Akron home after her mortgage was foreclosed after 38 years, saying that both are caught up in something bigger than they are, over their heads,
"In much the same way we, America, in the corporate persona of Fannie Mae, have forgiven poor Addie Polk of Akron, Ohio, we, America, also need to forgive poor Sarah Palin of Wasilla, Alaska. They are both in situations that are beyond their ability to cope, they are both stuck in a crucible caused by forces they cannot comprehend, they are both unable to understand what they are doing."
He's right. We do not need so much to be afraid of telegenic, winkin', Golly-gee-whillikers Sarah Palin; there are tens of thousands of her out there. We need to face who put her there, who picked her out of a crowd of Sarah Palins and made her the TV face for their social and economic political agenda. The difficulty, it seems to me, is that in reality, there is not one villain, there is not one Voldemort with his helpers that the hero and his helpers can confront and eliminate. In fact, literature even seems to recognize that one story told is prelude to others to come. That is the way it is.
My early education taught me, inadvertently, I imagine now, to believe that the US having defeated the uber-villain, who did monstrous things through his rise to power in Germany, was the great hero. That evil vanquished was vanquished. That humans everywhere had to understand this as an aberration of the human spirit that could not happen again. I now believe that it is as universal and present as any part of good in humans, and that the Republicans have long understood this. They used it, and in channeling the visceral power of fear and control, rather than courage and cooperative action, they have brought it to America.
I read the other day that the original definition of fascism is a relationship between corporations and government, and that this was fascism as Mussolini practiced it, but that in 1968, the definition changed in the dictionaries.
Not having a good English dictionary at my disposal here (gift idea), I resort to Dictionary.com. Here is the definition the American Heritage Dictionary gives:
fas·cism (fāsh'ĭz'əm) n.
1. often Fascism a. A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism. b. A political philosophy or movement based on or advocating such a system of government.
2. Oppressive, dictatorial control.
[Italian fascismo, from fascio, group, from Late Latin fascium, from Latin fascis, bundle.]
Word History: It is fitting that the name of an authoritarian political movement like Fascism, founded in 1919 by Benito Mussolini, should come from the name of a symbol of authority. The Italian name of the movement, fascismo, is derived from fascio, "bundle, (political) group," but also refers to the movement's emblem, the fasces, a bundle of rods bound around a projecting axe-head that was carried before an ancient Roman magistrate by an attendant as a symbol of authority and power. The name of Mussolini's group of revolutionaries was soon used for similar nationalistic movements in other countries that sought to gain power through violence and ruthlessness, such as National Socialism.
The American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition, provides this discussion:
fascism [(fash-iz-uhm)]
A system of government that flourished in Europe from the 1920s to the end of World War II. Germany under Adolf Hitler, Italy under Mussolini, and Spain under Franco were all fascist states. As a rule, fascist governments are dominated by a dictator, who usually possesses a magnetic personality, wears a showy uniform, and rallies his followers by mass parades; appeals to strident nationalism; and promotes suspicion or hatred of both foreigners and “impure” people within his own nation, such as the Jews in Germany. Although both communism and fascism are forms of totalitarianism, fascism does not demand state ownership of the means of production, nor is fascism committed to the achievement of economic equality. In theory, communism opposes the identification of government with a single charismatic leader (the “cult of personality”), which is the cornerstone of fascism. Whereas communists are considered left-wing, fascists are usually described as right-wing.
Note: Today, the term fascist is used loosely to refer to military dictatorships, as well as governments or individuals that profess racism and that act in an arbitrary, high-handed manner.
Note this last.
The American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition makes reference to the historic associations of fascism with socioeconomic control -- the Dictionary.com Unabridged version 1.1 makes it clearer in their definition:
(sometimes initial capital letter) a governmental system led by a dictator having complete power, forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism, regimenting all industry, commerce, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive nationalism and often racism -- suppression of opposition through censorship and controls, and a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism, but today, it is "loosely" understood as nothing more than "military dictatorships".
It strikes me that the neutering of the term fascism to make it a meme for something that appears impossible in US democracy has been a ruse of genius. Fascism has been unbundled for an American sensibility, the association with commerce, with social control -- that was what the Soviet Union did, not the United States government --, racism and nationalism stripped away from the bundle.
Our military, we say, fights wars for its people; it is great and good; its soldiers are just and honorable; our wars the more so. We made ourselves infallible in our eyes, and in those of an older generation of world citizens who still remember the USA for D-day and the liberation of Europe from fascism, but in the 60 years since, other eyes have opened on the fascism that has been nutured in the USA, as racists fumed against the advancement of colored people (I am thinking of the mission of the NAACP), as the controllers of the nation's great wealth on Wall Street and in the corporate boardrooms of the US sought political advantage to deregulate their businesses and allow them access to even more spectacular profits, handed in out in astronomical CEO salaries and year-end bonuses, safe from taxation in the off-shore accounts for which the US Tax Code provided with a nudge and a wink.
Power concentrated in the hands of ever fewer, ever more fearful of a population that would rage if it bothered to finally understand in what it had been complicit.
And not everyone agrees that the Jews did not "deserve" what "they got", nor that Muslims do not deserve the same. The right has been sure to keep those coals stirred. Sarah Palin's Christianity decries mine, and those of more ecumenical pastors and priests. Fundamentalist extremism carries many passports, including that of the United States of America.
It's possible to get too close to the evil, to spend too much time thinking about it. I had a nightmare. I dreamed that my hair salon was closed. In its place was an array of cubicles with low-walls, filled with banks of communications equipment, dials and screens. Everything was black and white. No one sat at those desks. The few people at the reception desk would say nothing. I felt panic. What had happened? Where had it gone? There were other women and men asking the same, but no one would answer. There was no face to tell us.
"But what a terrible thing, and Bonne Marché just across the street? What will happen?"
Don't ask it to make sense. It is a dream. It's our job to make sense of it. I am overdue for a hair cut and color, so of course I have that on the brain, but it is also expensive, a luxury. So is everything sold inside Bonne Marché. Creative people who drive Vespas covered with stickers from world cities and have fascinating tattoos, jewelry and points of view work inside, alongside people from just about every rung of society, from the shampoo boys and girls, to the receptionists, to the hipper stylists who work in that salon. It is a sort of luxury crossroads, and it was gone.
That's my fear talking in my dream. Luxury and individual expression -- the luxury of individual expression? -- gone, replaced by listening and recording equipment, while we are so powerless as to only discover that and feel shock.
Our world changed between appointments.
Look at the contortions through which our society has gone, from Civil Rights to Voting Rights and Women's Rights. Anger and fear were born of those movements on the part of those who felt threatened enough to kill its leaders. It is a cultural war. It isn't over. A half black, half white child of that time has come of age to ask to lead us as our president, and the majority of us desire this. We are ready. We asked for those changes in society, we supported them, some organized and fought for them. Others fought against them. While bills were signed into law by LBJ, the right prepared to fight the only way left to them, to confound and constrain those who would attempt to benefit by that rule of law.
They have worked around the law, in contempt of the law, and still, we haven't acted. We say, "Let us elect Senator Obama, and then there will be time to identify the criminals and punish them." What, put Bush and Cheney and Rove in jail? I doubt it.
They say, "Let us pass this emergency bail-out legislation to save our economy, and then there will be time for the hearings to identify the wrong-doers and punish them." What, put Wall Street, corporate America and Congress in jail? I don't see it.
What will get in the way of doing the right thing next? This economic crisis that was the child of the great Republican (mostly) power and money grab? You betcha'.
Our country is full Americans chanting "YOU ESS-AY!! YOU ESS-AY!!" -- at home and abroad -- and sporting their flag pins and bumper stickers.
The right is full of fascists yelling "Communists!" at the left during Palin rallies.
It never made sense, and it still doesn't now. Hitler first justified the murder of Jews for their communist, or leftist, anti-commerce ideas, or just another way of framing racist German social nationalism in her hour of post World War I humiliation to make it more palatable -- and yet the Jews were historically persecuted in Europe for their wealth and "sinfulness", stemming from their understanding and development of international finance, having been given that role by a Church that told its adherents that to profit from the exchange of money was sinful, and so, therefore, the Jews were sinners, whose wealth must be confiscated for the good of society. This is why it is frowned upon to focus on the making of money and talk about one's salary in certain upper circles, descended from the deposed aristocracy in Europe. They don't even realize why.
We're still fighting the same war.
But as these huge banks go down, their directors and CEOs asking for the salvation of the state to shore up the caving cliff of America's former economic might, undermined by their greed, their chosen political leaders' wars for a greater share of control of the world's oil, the whipping up of anti-Islamic sentiment to gain support from Christian fundamentalists so inclined to go their way, and American's passion for acquisition that has resulted in an unprecedented individual debt, what are the executives doing?
You're asking the fox to watch over the hen house, my friends in Congress, unless you mean it when you promise hearings and punishments. They seek to make fools of those who still believe in Great Principles.
"What he lacked in experience, he's made up in fight." from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Where, oh where, is Mr. Smith in America's hour of need? We stand for peace, we stand for social justice, we stand for the protection of sustainable capitalism and renewable energy, we stand with Obama, and they throw us Palin, the ruin of the global economy, and, if you listen to the whispers, perhaps the North American Union Army to quell post-election civil unrest in the event the Republicans declare victory and martial law.
And so it goes.
Ah, Kurt, ya died too soon.
I am going to rejoin my fellow supporters of democracy watching the Obama sign and out for freedom of expression for all of us. ....
Last evening, minun aviomies returned home from the hospital well after dark (it will soon be time to change the clocks back an hour) and asked, "Alors, qu'est-ce qu'ils ont fait aujourd'hui?"
Oh, that I could have shown him!
I took him by the hand and led him out into the pitch dark (the lamp has been down since they removed all the old stucco), no moon even.
"Ils ont fait le premier essai?" Yes, they made the first chaux sample, "mais tu ne pouras pas le voir."
He pulled out his keys and flicked on his tiny little flashlight thing. The ochre turned a ghostly, ghastly blue-ish green-ish shade. I pushed his hand down and laughed, "You can't look at it with that!"
I suppose he stopped to look at it on his way out this morning. I didn't hear a yelp of horror, so either he liked it, or I was already out like a light again. I am returning from living American and French hours simultaneously. I can't make any promises, but it might hold. You know how it is, when you are happy, you don't feel the fatigue.
....
Bouche-trou
Today, they returned to mix more unpigmented chaux to fill the holes along the street facade. The put up a galvanized lath over the wood timber with galvanized nails to hold it in place.
Georges is mixing the chaux out on the sidewalk, and José is trowelling it on [trans: Georges prépare la chaux et José l'applique à la taloche].
They had to remove everything behind the old stucco that was loose to provide a solid surface. Don't want the new chaux falling off, and this left holes, especially at the exposed beam ends and sides, where they just appled the stucco directly to the wood.
Once all of the holes are filled, they can begin to cover the walls in lath.
Moving right along.
Tomorrow, they're back to the window preparation (inside if the weather is poor) and Joachim is due back sometimes soon to make a couple more samples for me.
....
CHAOS family affairs
"So, it's come to that!"
BarrelMcRaven: morning, SK. Teachkids: SK, where are the Toshiba power cords? [for those of you unfamiliar with CHAOS, Teach is SK's mother, and yes, they do live in the same house. This took place before school hours.] ... [indicates miscellaneous, unreported chat] Fleur_de_Paris: you have to talk to him here? Fleur_de_Paris: Pots, they have a computer in every room, too! Pots: Even they can't get outta here. ... Teachkids: I'm lazy. Teachkids: SK, what? .... Fleur_de_Paris: be quiet everyone, Teach is trying to talk to SK. ... Signkid: lol Teachkids: OK Teachkids: Watch your quotes young man [SK had just typed the Obama line, "It's not that John McCain doesn't get it, it's that he just doesn't care."] Fleur_de_Paris: lol Signkid: What?! Fleur_de_Paris: told off on chat by your mom KiwiMisty: he's giving good quote teach :-) BarrelMcRaven: *whispers* Morning, Teach Fleur_de_Paris: that's a new one Teachkids: I spoke too soon Fleur_de_Paris: lol barrel Mergatroyd: Yes, Barack says McCain doesn't get it TeachKids: So, SK, I need the power cords. Where are they? Signkid: Okay Fleur_de_Paris: lol Signkid: For what? [what mother hasn't hear that?] Pots: lol Teach Mergatroyd: Yeah, where are the power cords! TeachKids: the PC laptop Fleur_de_Paris: I thought he told you! Skeinchug: lol TeachKids: I missed it. Pots: he didn't Fleur_de_Paris: SK, go see your mother! KiwiMisty: I think this is the Internet version of a mom yelling down the stairs to her son :-) Signkid: one is sitting in front of me Belgian: LOL Signkid: I don't know about the other one Fleur_de_Paris: oh my god [laughing so hard picturing this she was nearly prevented from breathing -- home with the Fosbacks!] Pots: See how hard this is Teach??? TeachKids: I only need one. Fleur_de_Paris: this is a great sketch BarrelMcRaven: Obama balls [referring to Rotterdam's recipe for meatballs] Signkid: Okay, cool Pots: We need better pay to watch the sign Signkid: let's meet in the kitchen Signkid: it's more neutral Signkid: lol [cracks himself up] Pots: lol [cracks Pots -- Protector of The Sign -- up] BelgianCHAOS: LOL! [really cracks Belgian up... I am too busy taking notes, now to laugh] TeachKids: Sounds good. You can unload the dishwasher. Skeinchug: Oh dear, it's come to this LOLOL
...
The advertising space on the window
SK added ad space for sale I assume proceeds will go to the Obama campaign! it's a joke
Pots: I thought you were working? Watcha doing? Fleur_de_Paris: I am. Working on my blog and the drawings. Fleur_de_Paris: not that either is worth my time [well, the drawings, if I ever get them done, will be] catgirl: what drawings? Fleur_de_Paris: for the renovation of the house Pots: advertise Fleur Fleur_de_Paris: I don't think anyone would pay me for that space Fleur_de_Paris: oh, you mean me Pots: yes Fleur_de_Paris: then I'd be big for my britches [when I saw SK's new ad space offer, I said he was getting big for his] Pots: I'm gonna sell humidifiers there [I think he meant on the Fosback's den window] ... Fleur_de_Paris: They are getting funnier and funnier Fleur_de_Paris: quite the pair Fleur_de_Paris: my son is a little too cool for that Pots: lol Fleur_de_Paris: you can advertise on my site for free, Pots ... Pots: I can't sell to Europe signvoyeur: Fleur... are you can expat living near Paris? Your English is very good. Fleur_de_Paris: I am read in the US, too. Fleur_de_Paris: we can add a disclaimer. Fleur_de_Paris: or pass the orders through my mother [whoops, that won't work... she's in the US. OK, my mother-in-law] Pots: we can do that. Fleur_de_Paris: Mais merci, mon chou, voyeur! Fleur_de_Paris: I am bi [OK, that was deliberately... what is the word? Ambiguous?] Pots: What? Pots: Fleur... sassiewas: come again? Pots: lol catgirl: lingual? sassiewas: :-) BarrelMcRaven: rotfl
Daily KOS, "Updated: CHAOS breaks out over Obama yard signs", October 3 (not first piece)
Jezebel, What a Stolen Obama Sign Teaches Us About Humanity, Sept. 30, 2008
WSJ, "In Sign of the Times, Global Village Gathers to Watch a Sign", Christopher Rhoads, Sept. 29, 2008
Huff Post, "Hey! Don't Steal That Obama Sign, The World is Watching", Pat Lawson-Black, Sept. 22, 2008
The Oregonian's Orgeon Live, "Tired of thieves, Portland woman lets the world watch her Obama sign", Joseph Rose, Sept. 22, 2008
For the Portland Evening News TV segment, click here.
And KGW 11PM news:
And, for Signkid and CHAOS memorabilia, don't miss Zazzle.com.
....
Obama HQ Chicago calling
Watch this:
I thought this was why a lovely woman, older and white as far as her voice could say, called from the campaign headquarters, not to ask me for a donation -- oh! they don't need to do that! -- but to ask me for my passport number.
Yeah, my passport number. Proof of my US citizenship. I was surprised, to say the least. She tried to put a positive spin on it.
"Well, the Obama campaign wants to be sure they are in strict compliance with US campaign law!" I heard that exclamation point. I did. I didn't buy it. If they did, there was a reason.
"My goodness, I have never been asked for that before, and I have made numerous contributions to other US campaigns since I moved abroad, and I have never been asked for that."
"Well -- do you have that passport number?" They don't want to say it.
Thank you, Katherine for pointing me to the answer from Chris Matthews.
It's true, folks. They're checking inside the campaign so they can return any money that might be used against them.
I gave her my passport number.
If you have 11 minutes and 42 seconds more to spare, watch the segment with Peggy Noonan and The Washington Post's Eugene Robinson, in which Chris Matthews says that he sees a pattern in the recent Palin appearances -- an attempt to lilnk 3 points together: Barack Obama's associations, his middle name, and his list of donors.
Accidental or intentional? That's Chris Matthew's question.
"But with only 30 days out, what does it say that this is the topic. It says something weird -- it says that they're avoiding, it's almost as if history will look back and say "Look at the point we were at, and this is the point they were talking about?" -- Peggy Noonan
Just listen to Palin dripping with sarcasm in her speech. Her smile and "Oops! I don't know anything!" tone full of her anger and derision, from "golly gee wizz" direct to the below-the-belt for the KO. You're looking at the new face of the KKK.
Let's hope the Republicans are trounced so their go find themselves some new supporters.
To wash that bad taste out of your mouth, just take a look at these numbers for Joe Biden and Sarah Palin:
Whoo-hoo! You go, Joe.
"Oh, say it ain't so, Joe," she whimpers into her pillow at night, "I'll get that Joe Biden, I'll get that Barack HUSSEIN Obama." Just like Yosemite Sam.
....
The financial meltdown, or a teacup to bailout the Titanic
For my most recent opinion, see the update at the top of this post from Friday the 3rd, Bailout Day.
Let us say that we are still not convinced, even if we think there are some really nice and caring people in congress who mean very well and who act from the finest motivations.
What we need is real change and real leadership for a change.
Wait, that was repetitive.
....
My own kid just came home from school depressed. Worst yet this year. Worse still, he's too old to want me to come up and try to cheer him up, or lecture him. Lessons to learn, he has.
More contemporary art 
ppened to my laundry.
hen in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
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Articles
