Inching towards contracts and renovations

I did it. I called the bank and made an appointment with our banker, Madame Morel, to start discussions on financing options. There happened to be a cancellation for 4 PM tomorrow. Then, I called the leading real estate agency in the "boucle", Madani in Bonnières sur Seine. He proposed 3 PM tomorrow -- without my even suggesting it -- and we agreed to 2:30 PM so I wouldn't have to put him out the gate before he finished the house evaluation to make it to the bank on time. How is that for perfect timing? That means that tomorrow I find out what he thinks the place is worth on the market today, in its present shape and with the work done. I am actually pretty excited to find out and get going on something solid, rather than wallowing around in these treacherous waters of endless speculation.

I do feel a little guilty about shoving the estimate for the work in the top drawer of the commode, or the chest of drawers where I keep all the important papers and "stuff", without telling Audouin that I have received it. I want to put the ducks in order before I spring it on him because it is always awful when we talk about anything without enough information on hand. We are terrible at saying, "Well, that's a good question. Let's find out some more and talk about it again when we have all the elements in hand, shall we? Would you care for a drink, darling?" Instead, it turns into a scene from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

On the other hand, he could feel "railroaded" by my scurrying around getting this together before I present it to him. It's hard being married. You want to do the right thing and get your way, but there is this other person who doesn't always see it your way. To be honest, I don't even really want to get my way, well not just my way. I want to get as much as we can, and be smart about it. And I want to stay married and see my relationship improve like the garden and the house, despite the wear, neglect and battles along the way. I want to be sure I want what I want and that it makes sense.

There is the option of telling him that I have made these appointments and expect the estimate tomorrow, or Monday at the latest.

I hate even the purest of snow-white lies!

Feel free to weigh in from your experience and wisdom.

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Here's another very good reason to make a Blog: it keeps you moving forward, rather than hiding under the covers, paralyzed, just in case anyone is actually reading what you write. Life can get a little too private and stuck sometimes. Even if I am the only reader of my tappings on the keyboard, that is good enough to keep me putting one foot in front of the other since I feel the need to "report in" and have something to say every day.